{"id":43,"date":"2016-02-25T13:05:11","date_gmt":"2016-02-25T13:05:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.kirstenirving.com\/blog\/2016\/02\/25\/bad-ad-poetry-hire-poets\/"},"modified":"2020-08-09T19:25:56","modified_gmt":"2020-08-09T18:25:56","slug":"bad-ad-poetry-hire-poets","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kirstenirving.com\/blog\/2016\/02\/25\/bad-ad-poetry-hire-poets\/","title":{"rendered":"Bad ad poetry? HIRE POETS."},"content":{"rendered":"

Living in London, we\u2019re surrounded by TFL\u2019s abominable Travel Better London<\/em> posters, with their godawful doggerel.<\/p>\n

First, you spot one and sigh gently to yourself.<\/p>\n

<\/figure>\n

Then you notice another. And another. Ye gods, they\u2019re all over the place, much like their scansion.<\/p>\n

Then a chill runs down your spine, as you wonder if everyone else secretly thinks the poetry is good.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when things get a little Mugatu.<\/p>\n

<\/figure>\n

God bless Crap Verse in Ads<\/a> for speaking truth to advertising and salving the rage by archiving these examples of crimes against art. I believe CVIA\u2019s flagging of these ads is one of the main forces behind TFL\u2019s decision to hold a competition to improve the poetry on their posters.<\/p>\n

Not that it helped a bit. The results were just as bad, if not worse than the originals. Sigh again.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you enter?\u201d I hear you ask, \u201cif you loathe the winning poetry so much?\u201d<\/p>\n

Two reasons:<\/p>\n

a) I\u2019m a poet, certainly, but I\u2019m also a copywriter. That means if I\u2019m doing some writing, especially for a company as big as TFL, I would like to be paid. Not fobbed off with the promise of \u2018exposure\u2019.<\/p>\n

b) The bigger reason by far is that I knew that TFL would choose awful sort-of-rhyming dross over anything more creative. Crap Verse in Ads put their money where their mouth was and entered some actually awesome (but sure, superbleak) poetry:<\/p>\n

<\/figure>\n

Needless to say they didn\u2019t win. Still think they were robbed. I would have smiled every time I got in the carriage, had the above piece won.<\/p>\n

Advertisers, it seems, can\u2019t stay away from poetry. This despite poetry being a poor sales magnet in and of itself. This despite the fact they clearly don\u2019t have much regard for the artform. Like the sort of person who sticks 17 lazy syllables down on paper and calls it a haiku, this lot rode roughshod over even the most basic elements of poetry in a six-line piece.<\/p>\n

I imagine the conversation went along the lines of:<\/p>\n

\u201cWe need to make this memorable. Really hammer the message home. But creatively. How about a song? Hmm, people remember songs.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cSir, this is on a poster.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cRight, right. Say, aren\u2019t poems like songs without music? People kind of like poetry at funerals and weddings.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cUm, I guess. But Sir, I\u2019ve not written a poem since my GCSEs, and even then it was about why Camellia Smart wouldn\u2019t let me try and find Radio Luxembourg behind the bike sheds.\u201d <\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cAh, nobody will notice. You\u2019re in Creative. Slap something together that fits in the space above the hipster art. Just make sure it rhymes. Honestly, if it rhymes\u2026\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cUm\u2026good times, Sir?\u201d
\n<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cSee? You\u2019re a poet already!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying that Gertrude Stein is appropriate for a family-friendly, accessible poster (although how much fun would that be?), or that rhyme or light verse in general should be banished. Not at all, but light verse needn\u2019t be shite verse (copyright Irving, K, 2016). I mean, they clearly paid a copywriter to do the original series of poems, so why in God\u2019s name didn\u2019t they think to HIRE A POET?<\/p>\n

Seriously, London is lousy with them. Many even (ahem) double up as copywriters! One free post on Artsjobs and the offer of a fair day rate would see you rolling in playful, imaginative writing, working with someone used to critique and editing and creative reworking.<\/p>\n

One of the reasons these posters have caused so much rage (one Telegraph writer <\/a>claimed they were behind his decision to flee London entirely) is how patronising they are. Not just because of the bouncy, nursery-rhyme rhythm (which could have been catchy) or the \u201cWe really do not mean to chide\u201d passive-aggression, but also due to the brokenness and half-arsedness of the writing\u2019s construction.<\/p>\n

The worst part? I still ride the bus to the tinny unsch-unsch<\/i> of someone\u2019s rackety earphones. I still see litter everywhere. I still see people jamming open the doors and chowing smelly food and blocking carriages in a world of their own. Other than annoying commuters, the posters have had zero effect on bad conduct.<\/p>\n

You know the cliche of people visiting a contemporary art gallery and claiming their six-year-old could do better than that? I put it to you that not only could a six-year-old write better poetry, but that their work would be a lot more memorable.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m serious, TFL. Let\u2019s get London\u2019s schoolkids on the case. Contact Ministry of Stories<\/a>, First Story<\/a>, Live Canon<\/a>, Young Poets Network<\/a>, or one of the other creative writing organisations in this fine city. Nothing has a better effect on antisocial behaviour than being judged by a child. And pay them a fair rate while you\u2019re at it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Living in London, we\u2019re surrounded by TFL\u2019s abominable Travel Better London posters, with their godawful doggerel. First, you spot one and sigh gently to yourself. Then you notice another. And another. Ye gods, they\u2019re all…<\/p>\n

Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[90,100,1],"tags":[75,74,76,4],"class_list":["post-43","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-critical-writing","category-poetry","category-uncategorised","tag-advertising","tag-copywriting","tag-crapverseinads","tag-poetry","odd"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kirstenirving.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kirstenirving.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kirstenirving.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kirstenirving.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kirstenirving.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=43"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.kirstenirving.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":143,"href":"https:\/\/www.kirstenirving.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/43\/revisions\/143"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kirstenirving.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=43"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kirstenirving.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=43"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kirstenirving.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=43"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}